


Cool testicles

by Hazazel



Series: Google recognition is messing up [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Gen, Non-binary character, akaashi is being savage, embarrassing pictures of Kuroo are being shared, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:25:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazazel/pseuds/Hazazel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(10:17) Cool testicles, bro<br/>(10:18) <b>Wtf are you talking about</b><br/>(10:20) [Attached file: whiskers crotch.jpg]<br/>(10:21) <b>Bo don't tell me</b></p><p>In which Kenma sends a bunch of pictures of Kuroo that they shouldn't have (even though they're decent, they swear) to a bunch of people who are happy to have them (even though they shouldn't)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cool testicles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yatotoro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatotoro/gifts).



> This one was sooo fun to write, I hope you enjoy reading it !  
> Like the rest of this series, credits to [Yato](http://asian-otaku-diaries.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr and [this great post](http://asian-otaku-diaries.tumblr.com/post/142731883922/haikyuu-character-names-as-recognized-by-google)  
> I tried using another formatting for the texts, tell me if it looks bad (and don't forget that kudos and comments are the food of the writer's soul, thank you so much to the people that leave them !)  
> Kuroo is bold, Kenma italics, Akaashi underlined, Bokuto normal and Yamaguchi italics and underlined

(10:17) Cool testicles, bro

(10:18) **Wtf are you talking about**

(10:20) [Attached file: _whiskers_ _crotch_ _.jpg_ ]

(10:21) **Bo don't tell me**

(10:23) **Kenma is such a little shit**

(10:23) Bro you never told me about this swimsuit !!!!!

(10:24) **Why would I ??? It's super ugly**

(10:25) These are CAT SWIMMING TRUNKS

(10:25) There are WHISKERS on your CROTCH

(10:26) I can't believe I had to ask Kenma for this picture even after I gave you my owl one

(10:27) **I can't believe Kenma gave it to you**

(10:27) **Forget that, Kenma probably gave you worse**

(10:28) OOOOH YEAH but I'm not going to torment you just yet

(10:29) Akaashi probably will though

(10:30) **You gave these to Akaashi ?!**

(10:32) Kenma gave these to Akaashi

(10:32) **I'm gonna go kill them brb**

oo

(10:33) **Kenma**

(10:33) **Kenma answer me omg**

(10:33) **Don't go radio silent I know you're here**

oo

(10:33) _Hum, Kuroo ?_

(10:34) **Tadashi. No. Don't tell me you too !**

(10:35) _I did receive the pictures_

(10:36) _I haven't looked at them yet but Kenma seemed excited and they all have very intriguing names. Should I worry ?_

oo

(10:33) Kuroo-san, I didn't think you'd look so bad with a hat on.

(10:35) **Akaashi wtf leave me alone**

(10:36) Bokuto is still laughing at the bathing suit, which was admittedly hilarious, but he is missing out on the best.

(10:37) **Don't you have anything better to do while you two are out on a date ?**

(10:38) Oh, believe me, we are having a very good time.

(10:38) **You two have no respect**

(10:40) Socks and sandals is having no respect, Kuroo-san, we are merely pointing out the obvious.

(10:42) **Let it die already ! The team roasted me last year, I think I've had enough**

(10:43) Kuroo-san, this picture is from the last holidays. You didn't learn anything.

(10:45) **It was a cold evening ok ? Kenma was supposed to delete this picture !**

(10:45) Never forget, Kuroo-san, never forget.

(10:46) **I hate you all omg**

oo

(10:50) **Kenma I will have my revenge, I swear**

oo

(10:50) **If you love me please don't look at these pictures**

(10:54) _It's a bit too late, Kuroo_

(10:55) _You shouldn't worry, most of them are cute_

(10:56) **Thanks, Tadashi, but I think you're the only one who will find them cute**

(10:57) _Bokuto has been snapchatting most of them with little hearts in the captions_

(10:59) _And Kenma added a cat stamp on their favourites_

(11:00) **I am never going to see the end of it am I**

(11:01) _It's ok, Kuroo, it'll calm down eventually_

(11:03) **You don't know them, Tadashi, you really don't**

oo

(11:09) I was mistaken, Kuroo-san. The hat is nothing next to the headband.

(11:14) **Just let me die already**

(11:15) We'll print all these wonderful photos to pin them inside your coffin, don't worry.

(11:17) **Amazing. I'm thrilled. My friends are so nice**

(11:20) Don't sulk, Kuroo-san, pouting doesn't suit you either. Did you drop that ice cream on yourself ?

(11:23) **I'd be impressed by your level of passing aggressive commenting if it wasn't directed at me**

(11:23) **Can't you comment on Kenma's incredible bed head while you're at it ?**

(11:24) I hadn't even noticed, I was too distracted trying to spot the birds nesting in yours

(11:24) **Glad to help Akaashi**

oo

(11:30) **Kenmaaaa**

(11:37) _dont whine_

(11:37) **You deserve it !**

(11:38) _have u talked to yamaguchi_

(11:38) **Yeah, a bit, why ?**

(11:39) _talk to them again ull thank me later_

(11:40) **Yeah right I talked with Akaashi and I'm not thanking you at all ever**

(11:53) **Bokuto has been laughing at me for like half an hour**

(12:00) **Kenmaaaa**

(12:10) **Such a mean cat**

oo

(12:05) DUDE DUDE OMG

(12:12) You should wear skirts more often

(12:13) **Really ?**

(12:14) YEAH !!! It looks so good on your legs

(12:14) **Thanks bro**

(12:16) **I'm glad you're at least appreciating these pics a little bit**

(12:17) Also if you could lend one to Akaashi I think he'd look stunning

(12:19) **I changed my mind don't talk to me ever again**

oo

(12:17) I will buy my own skirts, Kuroo-san.

(12:20) **I never even offered you one omg**

(12:22) You'd better not. Although, these are comparatively better than your usual clothing.

(12:24) Kenma picked the skirts, didn't they ?

(12:24) **I need new friends**

oo

(12:30) _Kuroo, that eyeliner was Kenma's, right ?_

(12:31) **Yeah, they insisted on making me a cat wing or whatever**

(12:32) _Well if you want to use it more you should buy your own instead of using theirs, it's pretty expensive_

(12:33) **Is this your indirect way of saying it looked good on me ?**

(12:33) **Cute, Tadashi**

(12:35) **Hey apparently there is a picture of me with a skirt ? You should look at this one too**

(12:38) _It's your new contact picture_

(12:40) **So you got rid of this horrible sleeping face ! At least one good thing came out of this disaster !**

(12:43) **I gotta go, I need to talk to Akaashi and do some damage control before he sends any picture to Oikawa**

(12:44) **See you !**

(12:45) _See you ! <3_

oo

(12:50) **Yeah all right it wasn't all that bad**

(12:53) **You still owe me for all the shit Akaashi is going to give me though**

(12:59) _d_ _on_ _t_ _get your hopes up_ _k_ _uro_ _i still have ammo. dont tempt me_

**Author's Note:**

> More hc !  
> – Kenma does have a lot of ammo, half of it courtesy of Yaku. Do not even try to cross Yaku, this man will dig serious shit about you that you didn't even think still existed, and he will give you hell for it. Aka the infamous “Kuroo attacked by an army of stray cats while carrying tuna” picture from their first year Kuroo forbids the team to ever talk about in public.  
> – Also, Kuroo is a massive dork. Dropped his ice cream on his favourite t-shirt because he was talking with his hands and forgot there was now ice cream in them too. Does not comb his hair at all throughout the holidays, or like, most days, let's not kid ourselves. Wears sandals and socks because nights are cold in April. All of these are personal experiences and I don't know what it tells about me.  
> – The owl picture Bokuto is talking about is his pride and shame. When he was four, an owl landed on his head and he started crying. His parents took a video (“he was making a face even uglier than the owl's”, according to Kenma). As Akaashi told Konoha later on, “he actually thinks an owl came to bless him when he was younger”. Love this poor kid.  
> \- Bokuto types perfectly well (or at least properly) in texts, because Akaashi likes reading actual Japanese. But oooh you should see him in a skype chat (yes I have a skype chat planned for this series)  
> – Do you know who is excitedly taking (embarrassing) pictures of everyone ? Lev. Definitely Lev. Yaku is a Proud Mum and glad to know his legacy of photo shaming will survive after he leaves the team.


End file.
